๐ฆ Three Inches Higher
Youโre still looking up, just now itโs at your phone.
The architecture of a British high street bank branch was designed, consciously or not, as a monument to asymmetric power. Marble columns. A teller window set three inches too high. A queue. The whole arrangement communicating, without words, that the customer was the supplicant and they were doing him a favour by holding his salary. This worked beautifully for about two centuries. Then a Lithuanian startup with a neon card and an app that loads in four seconds decided to charge ยฃ2.7B in subscription fees in a single year – a 50% jump – comfortably outpacing what any single legacy institution managed to extract from its customers through more legitimate means.
Illegitimate means, for the record, is not a metaphor. Between 2014 and 2018, Britain’s biggest banks disgorged ยฃ1.6B in compensation for the particular talent they showed in bundling services into accounts customers had neither requested nor noticed. Barclays, NatWest, Lloyds and HSBC were the undisputed champions of the involuntary subscription long before fintech made it fashionable. The difference – and it is the only difference that matters – is that customers were furious about it. They knew how to extract money. They simply forgot to make it feel like a choice.
Revolut understood something that no amount of McKinsey consulting appears to have communicated to the Barclays board: the subscription economy runs on the illusion of agency. The premium tier comes with travel insurance the holder will never claim, lounge access used once at Manchester Airport, and an Uber upgrade that arrives when they’ve already taken the bus. Monzo has 1.6M paying subscribers on the same logic. The British consumer who in 2015 would sooner close their account than pay a monthly fee now hands over ยฃ9.99 without blinking because the card is a pleasing shade of coral and there’s a Tinder logo somewhere in the benefits PDF. This is not banking. This is what happens when a SaaS company decides current accounts are an underserved vertical.
NatWest’s answer has been to acquire Evelyn Partners, a wealth manager, doubling down on charging older, richer people to protect money they already have. Coherent. Also the strategic equivalent of a department store adding a fourth floor of men’s suits while ground-floor queues form for a trainer drop. Charging someone for safeguarding inherited wealth is a craft perfected over centuries. Convincing someone slightly overdrawn that they deserve a premium lifestyle is newer, stranger, and apparently far more lucrative. The gap between those two skills is widening fast, and catching up will cost considerably more than a ยฃ1.6B compensation bill.

๐๏ธ Top Story
- ๐ฎ๐น Holy Rebuttal. Giorgia Meloni publicly rejected Donald Trumpโs attacks on Pope Leo XIV, insisting the Pope is right to condemn violence and promote peace. (Le Figaro)
- ๐ช๐ธ Family Affairs. Begoรฑa Gรณmez, wife of Spain’s Prime Minister Pedro Sรกnchez, is charged with corruption after a two-year probe into alleged influence-peddling for her own career. (BBC)
- ๐ธ๐ช Crown Unrest. Reza Pahlaviโs speech in Stockholm, invited by Swedish far-right and Christian Democrats, split Swedenโs Iranian diaspora and triggered public demonstrations. (Le Monde)
- ๐ญ๐บ Magyar Shift. Russia signals it will work with Pรฉter Magyar after Viktor Orbanโs defeat, declaring respect for Hungaryโs choice and hoping for โpragmatic contacts.โ (Le Figaro)
- ๐ท๐บ Flag Splash. After two years banned or neutral, Russian and Belarusian swimmers regain full rights to uniforms, flags, and anthems at World Aquatics events. (Le Monde)
- ๐บ๐ธ Self Help. Donald Trump shared and then deleted an AI image showing himself as Jesus, insisting he believed it depicted him as a Red Cross worker. (Spiegel)
- ๐บ๐ธ Commander Unfit. John Brennan urges Congress to invoke the 25th Amendment and remove Trump, citing his threats against Iran and unstable behavior. (Libรฉ)
- ๐บ๐ธ Pump Fiction. Trumpโs team announces a naval blockade of the Strait of Hormuz following collapsed peace talks, with Iran promising nostalgia for $4 gas. (New York Times)
- ๐บ๐ธ Suit Yourself. A judge threw out Donald Trump’s $10B defamation lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal , ruling he failed to show actual malice. (BBC)
- ๐จ๐ฆ Full House. With unexpected by-election gains, Mark Carney secures a Liberal majority in Canadaโs Parliament, freeing his government from opposition support for votes. (Spiegel)
- ๐ง๐ท Escape Room. Alexandre Ramagem, ex-Bolsonaro spy chief sentenced for coup plotting, tried fleeing to the US but found himself detained by ICE instead. (Le Monde)
- ๐ต๐ช Count Me Out. Peruโs presidential election is extended after logistical failures prevent thousands from voting, forcing polls to reopen on Monday. (Le Monde)
- ๐จ๐บ Price of Admission Cuban President Miguel Dรญaz-Canel warns the US and Donald Trump that any invasion of Cuba would come at a heavy cost for both sides. (Spiegel)
- ๐ฎ๐ฑ Front and Center. Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu visits troops in Lebanon and insists the war effort will not pause for diplomats. (Spiegel)
- ๐ฎ๐ท Hang Time. Iran executed at least 1,639 people in 2025, the highest annual total since 1989, according to two NGOs monitoring the death penalty. (Le Figaro)
- ๐ณ๐ฌ Crude Denial. Ex-oil minister Diezani Alison-Madueke tells a UK court she never took bribes or abused her office, despite multi-million pound luxury allegations. (BBC)
- ๐ธ๐ณ Law and Disorder. The first person convicted under Senegalโs new anti-homosexuality law receives six years in jail and a substantial fine for his orientation. (Spiegel)
- ๐ No Contest. Romuald Wadagni, the ruling partyโs pick, is elected president of Benin with 94% after a one-sided race and a quiet concession from Paul Hounkpรจ. (Le Temps)
- ๐ฌ๐ง Entente Discordiale. Keir Starmer calls for closer European ties while embracing the very Brexit splits that keep his rivals energized. (BBC)
- ๐ฌ๐ง Known Wolf. Axel Rudakubana had a documented history of violent behavior flagged to agencies years before the Southport attack, but no effective intervention occurred. (The Guardian)
- ๐ฌ๐ง Fixer Upper. Anas Sarwar asks Scotland for five years to renovate the SNPโs legacy, offering new homes and tax relief as the price of admission. (The Guardian)
- ๐บ๐ธ Code Red. Sam Altman’s California home was targeted in a Molotov cocktail attack, landing the suspect with attempted murder charges and sparking debate over AI backlash. (Wall Street Journal)
- ๐บ๐ธ Unfriended. Eric Swalwell lost endorsements and now his seat in Congress after sexual assault allegations, bringing his political ambitions to an abrupt close. (New York Times)
- ๐บ๐ธ ICE, ICE Maybe. Greg Abbott dangles $110M in Houston police funding if the city does not reverse its new limits on ICE cooperation, proving some offers are anything but cool. (New York Times)
๐๏ธ Economy
- ๐ซ๐ท Toll Recall. TotalEnergies CEO Patrick Pouyannรฉ says paying a fee for passage through the Strait of Hormuz is preferable to a full closure, as oil markets reel from the US-backed blockade. (Le Figaro)
- ๐ฉ๐ช Pump Relief. Germany will cut taxes on diesel and gas for two months, dropping prices by โฌ0.17 per liter to offset wartime energy spikes. (Boursier)
- ๐ช๐บ Steel Yourself. The agrees to double tariffs on imported steel to 50 percent, aiming to shield struggling European producers from cheap Chinese competition and global oversupply. (Le Monde)
- ๐ช๐บ Frozen Assets. The tells Hungaryโs new leader Pรฉter Magyar that โฌ35B in blocked funds will stay on ice until Orbรกn-era policies are reversed and rule of law reforms begin. (Financial Times)
- ๐บ๐ธ Paper Trail. Kevin Warsh submitted his financial disclosures for the Fed chair nomination, moving him closer to a Senate hearing, though approval faces political obstacles. (Cnbc)
- ๐บ๐ธ Waiver Goodbye. The Trump administration let its sanctions exemption for Russian oil expire, cutting off a loophole that had boosted Moscowโs coffers and kept prices from soaring even higher. (New York Times)
- ๐ Strait Outta Luck. The near-closure of the Strait of Hormuz slashed OPECโs crude production by 7.89M barrels a day, with Iraq hit hardest and Saudi Arabia rerouting through the Red Sea. (Wall Street Journal)
- ๐ฌ๐ง Wattโs Up? UK households are being encouraged to use more electricity this summer, with incentives to absorb surplus renewable power and help balance the grid. (The Guardian)
- ๐ฌ๐ง Safe Harbour Sale. Chancellor Rachel Reeves urges Gulf-based expats to relocate to the UK, promising a review of tax rules that currently penalize internationally paid professionals. (Financial Times)
๐ข Real Estate
- ๐ต๐น Check Out. Portugal has canceled 7,000 tourist rental licenses since December, with thousands more to follow, as cities crack down on short-term stays. (Le Figaro)
- ๐บ๐ธ Spring Broke. home sales dropped 3.6% in March to 3.98M annualized, a chilly start to the spring selling season as buyers stay sidelined. (Wall Street Journal)
๐ On-chain
- ๐ช๐บ Safe Bet. Ledger ๐ซ๐ท expands to Wall Street, aiming to secure a slice of the US crypto boom and claim tech giant status from Europe. (Le Figaro)
- ๐ฌ๐ง Oil and Coin. Stack BTCโs board oversight falls to just one non-executive director, an oil tycoon, making Farage and Kwartengโs crypto play even more curious. (Financial Times)
- ๐บ๐ธ Plastic Chain. Mastercard launches its Crypto Partner Program, connecting over 100 industry leaders to bridge crypto innovation with everyday payments, including Binance, PayPal, and Kraken. (Boursier)
๐ฑ Listed Markets
- ๐ซ๐ท Tower of Babel. Lafarge and top brass are found guilty of financing ISIS and others in Syria, earning their ex-chief a six-year stay behind bars. (Le Monde)
- ๐ซ๐ท Insider’s Out. Three French financiers, nicknamed ยซย the Hairdresser,ย ยป ยซย the Cowboy,ย ยป and ยซย the Writer,ย ยป were sentenced to up to three years in prison and โฌ30M in fines for networked insider trading, a first in France. (Le Parisien)
- ๐บ๐ธ Star Wars. Nearly 1,500 figures from the film industry, including Jane Fonda and Joaquin Phoenix, signed an open letter opposing the Paramount Skydance takeover of Warner Bros Discovery, warning it would shrink opportunities and competition in Hollywood. (Le Monde)
- ๐บ๐ธ Port Authority. The move to blockade Iranian ports sent oil prices soaring, with Iran warning that no Gulf harbor is safe if its exports are choked. (Le Figaro)
- ๐บ๐ธ Equal Opportunity Cost. IBM agreed to a $17M payment to end a DOJ lawsuit claiming its DEI hiring practices breached civil rights rules on government contracts. (TechCrunch)
- ๐บ๐ธ Claw and Order. Microsoft is developing its own OpenClaw-style agent for 365 Copilot, promising better security for enterprises than the open source version ever managed. (TechCrunch)
- ๐บ๐ธ Consulting Open. Hacker group CodeWall breached Bain & Co‘s Pyxis platform with login details found in public code, echoing last month’s McKinsey security slip. (Financial Times)
- ๐ฌ๐พ Oil Change. Christopher Eppinger, fresh off a $250M win trading Russian crude, shifts his focus to Guyanaโs rapidly expanding oil fortunes. (Financial Times)
- ๐ต๐ญ Panic Button. The Philippines has ordered Meta ๐บ๐ธ to crack down on fake news that officials say could trigger economic chaos and public anxiety. (Wall Street Journal)
๐๏ธ Big Deals (M&A)
- Eurazeo ๐ซ๐ท acquires a majority stake in Groupe Netco ๐ซ๐ท, a leader in critical maintenance services for conveyor systems.
- Airvance Group ๐ซ๐ท to acquire the distribution activities of Saint-Gobain ๐ซ๐ท in Sweden, Norway, and Denmark for โฌ415M.
- Iberdrola ๐ช๐ธ pauses a $1B minority stake sale in a solar energy portfolio due to valuation concerns.
- TAP Air Portugal ๐ต๐น sells its majority stake in Cateringpor ๐ต๐น to Swiss company Gate Gourmet ๐จ๐ญ.
- EQT ๐ธ๐ช, KKR ๐บ๐ธ, and Advent ๐บ๐ธ show interest in acquiring PolyPeptide ๐จ๐ญ, which is valued at $1.2B.
- WE Soda ๐ฌ๐ง is among over a dozen suitors interested in acquiring Rio Tinto ๐ฆ๐บ’s US boron assets, valued at $2B.
- Unite Group ๐ฌ๐ง hires Goldman Sachs ๐บ๐ธ to accelerate asset sales to $540M this year.
- Glencore ๐จ๐ญ acquires a 45% stake in an aluminum plant in South Carolina.
- Bregal Sagemount ๐บ๐ธ invests in Redgate Software ๐ฌ๐ง, a leading platform for database DevOps and lifecycle management.
- The Sterling Group ๐บ๐ธ acquires Healthcare Linen Services Group ๐บ๐ธ.
- STG ๐บ๐ธ acquires Carrier Logistics Inc. ๐บ๐ธ, a provider of transportation management software for LTL carriers.
- STAPLE Investments ๐บ๐ธ partners with Corporate Travel Services (CTS) ๐บ๐ธ to support long-term growth.
- OpenAI ๐บ๐ธ acquires Hiro Finance ๐บ๐ธ, a personal finance startup founded in 2023.
- Perella Weinberg Partners ๐บ๐ธ acquires Gleacher Shacklock ๐ฌ๐ง in a cash-and-stock deal.
- Palo Alto Networks ๐บ๐ธ to acquire Liberty Bank ๐บ๐ธ for an AI revamp.
- Baker Hughes ๐บ๐ธ sells its Waygate Technologies ๐ฉ๐ช unit to Hexagon ๐ธ๐ช for around $1.45B.
- Somnigroup ๐บ๐ธ acquires Leggett & Platt ๐บ๐ธ in an all-stock deal worth $2.5B.
- Otis ๐บ๐ธ acquires WeMaintain ๐ซ๐ท for approximately โฌ300M, specializing in elevator installation and maintenance.
- BlackRock ๐บ๐ธ’s GIP, Brookfield ๐จ๐ฆ, EIG Partners ๐บ๐ธ, KKR ๐บ๐ธ, Stonepeak ๐บ๐ธ, and Macquarie ๐ฆ๐บ are considering offers for a stake in Kuwait Petroleum Corp. ๐ฐ๐ผ’s pipeline network as part of a $7B lease deal.
- Leonard Green & Partners ๐บ๐ธ is close to acquiring Cumming Group ๐บ๐ธ from New Mountain Capital at a $3B valuation, including debt.
- Stripes ๐บ๐ธ’s bagel chain PopUp Bagels ๐บ๐ธ raises funds from Tiger Global ๐บ๐ธ at a $300M valuation.
- GFL Environmental ๐จ๐ฆ to acquire Secure Waste Infrastructure ๐จ๐ฆ for $4.62B enterprise value.
- Cohere ๐จ๐ฆ and Aleph Alpha ๐ฉ๐ช are in talks to merge.
- Hapvida Participacoes e Investimentos ๐ง๐ท is seeking to raise $400M from a sale of its southern Brazil operations.
- Fosun International ๐จ๐ณ is considering a $3.2B sale of its 20.45% stake in BCP ๐ต๐น, Portugal’s largest listed bank.
- Japan ๐ฏ๐ต approves $4B in additional subsidies for Rapidus Corp. ๐ฏ๐ต to enter the AI chipmaking sector.
- International Holding Co. ๐ฆ๐ช acquires a majority stake in Caprice Holdings ๐ฌ๐ง for over $1.3B.
- Egyptian Natural Gas Holding Company ๐ช๐ฌ acquires the entire output of the Aphrodite gas deposit from Newmed Energy ๐จ๐พ.
- Botswana ๐ง๐ผ is keen on acquiring a controlling stake in De Beers ๐ฌ๐ง from Anglo American ๐ฌ๐ง.
๐งณ Private Markets & VC
- ๐ซ๐ท For You, For Sale. After a report revealed pimps recruiting teenage girls on TikTok, Sarah El Haรฏry refers the platform to Arcom and the European Commission for action. (Le Monde)
- ๐ฌ๐ง Suite Dreams. OpenAI signs for an 88,500 square foot London office, doubling its UK capacity while its Stargate project sits in limbo. (Cnbc)
- ๐บ๐ธ Risky Business. life insurers are losing investor confidence as their exposure to private credit raises concerns about hidden risks and shaky capital positions. (Financial Times)
- ๐บ๐ธ Bubble Trouble. OpenAI investors question whether its $852B valuation can hold up as Sam Altman pivots and Anthropic gains ground. (Financial Times)
- ๐บ๐ธ Bedrock Bottom. OpenAI tells staff the Amazon alliance will boost its enterprise market share, while Microsoftโs grip has kept OpenAI from reaching more customers. (Cnbc)
Fundraising
- Slate Auto ๐บ๐ธ (Transportation): $650M
- Aria Networks ๐บ๐ธ (Networking): $125M (Sutter Hill Ventures, Atreides Management, Valor Equity Partners, Eclipse Ventures)
- Neomorph ๐บ๐ธ (Biotechnology): $100M (Deerfield Management, Regeneron Ventures, Longwood Fund, Alexandria Venture Investments, Binney Street Capital)
- Modus ๐บ๐ธ (AI): $85M (Lightspeed Venture Partners, Comma Capital, Garry Tan)
- Endovascular Engineering ๐บ๐ธ (Medical Technology): $80M (Gilde Healthcare, Norwest, Sante Ventures, 415 Capital, S3 Ventures, Panakes Partners, M&L Healthcare Investments)
- MillTech ๐บ๐ธ (Fintech): $60M
- Elorian ๐บ๐ธ (AI): $55M (Striker Ventures, Menlo Ventures, Altimeter)
- Elevate Renewables ๐บ๐ธ (Energy): $50M
- True Footage ๐บ๐ธ (Real Estate): $40M
- Critical Loop ๐บ๐ธ (Energy): $26M (Conifer Infrastructure Partners, Hanover, Better Ventures, Climate Capital, Adapt Nation Capital, Cyrus Ventures)
- Quartzy ๐บ๐ธ (Life Sciences): $23M (Avenue Capital Group, BroadOak Capital Partners)
- Mastra ๐บ๐ธ (Software): $22M
- Eastern Union ๐บ๐ธ (Real Estate): $18.5M
- Citra Space ๐บ๐ธ (Space Technology): $15M (Washington Harbour Partners, Industrious Ventures, Reliable Properties, Scout VC, Squadra Ventures, Alumni Ventures, Flex Capital)
- Kelluu ๐ซ๐ฎ (Aerospace): โฌ15M (NATO Innovation Fund, Keen Venture Partners, Gungnir Capital, Tesi)
- Citra Space Corp ๐บ๐ธ (Space Technology): $15M (Washington Harbour Partners, Industrious Ventures, Reliable Properties, Scout VC, Squadra Ventures, Alumni Ventures, Flex Capital)
- SimpleChain ๐บ๐ธ (Blockchain): $15M
- Round ๐ฉ๐ช (Fintech): $6M (Alstin Capital, BACKED VC, Love Ventures, Passion Capital)
- Lupin & Holmes ๐ซ๐ท (Cybersecurity): $5.9M (20VC, Seedcamp, Purple Fund, Kima Ventures)
- Technique Solaire ๐ซ๐ท (Renewable Energy): โฌ5M
- Hairdex ๐ซ๐ท (Healthcare): โฌ1M
Fund Watch
- Ares Management ๐บ๐ธ: $20B (4th flagship direct lending fund, currently raising)
- 26North Partners LP ๐บ๐ธ: $5.9B (inaugural private equity fund, surpassed $4B target)
- Leeds Equity Partners ๐บ๐ธ: $1.9B (Leeds VIII, private equity fund focused on Knowledge Industries)
- Warburg Pincus ๐บ๐ธ: $1.8B (European defense fund, early backing from Munich Re)
- Dominus Capital ๐บ๐ธ: $640M (Dominus IV, 4th private equity fund, oversubscribed)
- Vista Equity Partners ๐บ๐ธ: $250M (software distressed debt fund, currently raising)
- France ๐ซ๐ท: $180M (contribution au FEM, soutien environnemental)
- Newfund ๐ซ๐ท: โฌ60M (HEKA, first European fund for brain digital health)
๐IPO
- Vercel ๐บ๐ธ (Dev Tools): recently valued at $9.3B after a $300M Series F round, signaling IPO readiness amid rising AI-driven app creation.
- HawkEye 360 ๐บ๐ธ (Space): filed for an IPO with a recent valuation of $2B following a $173M Series E round.
- Suja Life ๐บ๐ธ (Beverages): filed for an IPO, details on the amount are pending.
- Third Point ๐บ๐ธ (Finance): has sold its entire stake in CoStar and will not pursue a proxy fight.
- IOI Properties Group ๐ฒ๐พ (REIT): planning a $500M IPO in Malaysia to establish a REIT for its retail, hotel, and office assets.
- Maxivision Eye Hospitals ๐ฎ๐ณ (Healthcare): preparing for an India IPO backed by Quadria Capital.
๐งณ Debt
- Akiem ๐ซ๐ท: finalized a โฌ1.52B green refinancing in senior debt.
- Rolls-Royce ๐ฌ๐ง: secured ยฃ599M from the UK government for small modular reactor development.
- Barclays ๐ฌ๐ง: exploring refinancing options for Apollo-backed Shutterfly amid stalled private credit talks.
โ Failures
- Gestamp Sofedit ๐ซ๐ท: l’usine fermant en mai 2026 entraรฎnera la suppression de 59 emplois dans le cadre d’un plan de rรฉduction des coรปts.
๐ฏ For a Few More Minutesโฆ
- ๐ซ๐ท Step by Step. A 14-step section of the original Eiffel Tower staircase is going up for auction in Paris, with bids expected to top $163K. The climb to own a piece of history is open to all, except maybe the French. (Le Parisien)
- ๐ฉ๐ช Scroll and Convert. Social media platforms like TikTok and Telegram see a massive rise in jihadist content aimed at German minors, often disguised as lifestyle advice. (Die Zeit)
- ๐จ๐ฟ Cache Me If You Can. During a walk in the Krkonoลกe mountains, two hikers discovered $330K in gold coins and jewels, securing themselves a museum-worthy payday. (Le Figaro)
- ๐บ๐ธ Bricks and Entry. Three men were arrested in California after authorities found $1M worth of stolen Lego kits in two hijacked vans. Crime scenes are apparently getting more colorful. (Le Parisien)
- ๐บ๐ธ Flag Rights. The federal government will allow the rainbow Pride flag to fly permanently at the Stonewall Monument after reversing the Trump-era ban, following a lawsuit by LGBTQ groups. (New York Times)
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