๐Ÿฆ Three Inches Higher

Youโ€™re still looking up, just now itโ€™s at your phone.

A Free Lunch newsletter archive of April 14, 2026

The architecture of a British high street bank branch was designed, consciously or not, as a monument to asymmetric power. Marble columns. A teller window set three inches too high. A queue. The whole arrangement communicating, without words, that the customer was the supplicant and they were doing him a favour by holding his salary. This worked beautifully for about two centuries. Then a Lithuanian startup with a neon card and an app that loads in four seconds decided to charge ยฃ2.7B in subscription fees in a single year – a 50% jump – comfortably outpacing what any single legacy institution managed to extract from its customers through more legitimate means.

Illegitimate means, for the record, is not a metaphor. Between 2014 and 2018, Britain’s biggest banks disgorged ยฃ1.6B in compensation for the particular talent they showed in bundling services into accounts customers had neither requested nor noticed. Barclays, NatWest, Lloyds and HSBC were the undisputed champions of the involuntary subscription long before fintech made it fashionable. The difference – and it is the only difference that matters – is that customers were furious about it. They knew how to extract money. They simply forgot to make it feel like a choice.

Revolut understood something that no amount of McKinsey consulting appears to have communicated to the Barclays board: the subscription economy runs on the illusion of agency. The premium tier comes with travel insurance the holder will never claim, lounge access used once at Manchester Airport, and an Uber upgrade that arrives when they’ve already taken the bus. Monzo has 1.6M paying subscribers on the same logic. The British consumer who in 2015 would sooner close their account than pay a monthly fee now hands over ยฃ9.99 without blinking because the card is a pleasing shade of coral and there’s a Tinder logo somewhere in the benefits PDF. This is not banking. This is what happens when a SaaS company decides current accounts are an underserved vertical.

NatWest’s answer has been to acquire Evelyn Partners, a wealth manager, doubling down on charging older, richer people to protect money they already have. Coherent. Also the strategic equivalent of a department store adding a fourth floor of men’s suits while ground-floor queues form for a trainer drop. Charging someone for safeguarding inherited wealth is a craft perfected over centuries. Convincing someone slightly overdrawn that they deserve a premium lifestyle is newer, stranger, and apparently far more lucrative. The gap between those two skills is widening fast, and catching up will cost considerably more than a ยฃ1.6B compensation bill.

๐Ÿฆ Three Inches Higher

๐Ÿ—ž๏ธ Top Story

  • ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น Holy Rebuttal. Giorgia Meloni publicly rejected Donald Trumpโ€™s attacks on Pope Leo XIV, insisting the Pope is right to condemn violence and promote peace. (Le Figaro)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ Family Affairs. Begoรฑa Gรณmez, wife of Spain’s Prime Minister Pedro Sรกnchez, is charged with corruption after a two-year probe into alleged influence-peddling for her own career. (BBC)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช Crown Unrest. Reza Pahlaviโ€™s speech in Stockholm, invited by Swedish far-right and Christian Democrats, split Swedenโ€™s Iranian diaspora and triggered public demonstrations. (Le Monde)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ Magyar Shift. Russia signals it will work with Pรฉter Magyar after Viktor Orbanโ€™s defeat, declaring respect for Hungaryโ€™s choice and hoping for โ€œpragmatic contacts.โ€ (Le Figaro)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ Flag Splash. After two years banned or neutral, Russian and Belarusian swimmers regain full rights to uniforms, flags, and anthems at World Aquatics events. (Le Monde)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Self Help. Donald Trump shared and then deleted an AI image showing himself as Jesus, insisting he believed it depicted him as a Red Cross worker. (Spiegel)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Commander Unfit. John Brennan urges Congress to invoke the 25th Amendment and remove Trump, citing his threats against Iran and unstable behavior. (Libรฉ)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Pump Fiction. Trumpโ€™s team announces a naval blockade of the Strait of Hormuz following collapsed peace talks, with Iran promising nostalgia for $4 gas. (New York Times)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Suit Yourself. A judge threw out Donald Trump’s $10B defamation lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal , ruling he failed to show actual malice. (BBC)
  • ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ Full House. With unexpected by-election gains, Mark Carney secures a Liberal majority in Canadaโ€™s Parliament, freeing his government from opposition support for votes. (Spiegel)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท Escape Room. Alexandre Ramagem, ex-Bolsonaro spy chief sentenced for coup plotting, tried fleeing to the US but found himself detained by ICE instead. (Le Monde)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช Count Me Out. Peruโ€™s presidential election is extended after logistical failures prevent thousands from voting, forcing polls to reopen on Monday. (Le Monde)
  • ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ Price of Admission Cuban President Miguel Dรญaz-Canel warns the US and Donald Trump that any invasion of Cuba would come at a heavy cost for both sides. (Spiegel)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Front and Center. Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu visits troops in Lebanon and insists the war effort will not pause for diplomats. (Spiegel)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท Hang Time. Iran executed at least 1,639 people in 2025, the highest annual total since 1989, according to two NGOs monitoring the death penalty. (Le Figaro)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ Crude Denial. Ex-oil minister Diezani Alison-Madueke tells a UK court she never took bribes or abused her office, despite multi-million pound luxury allegations. (BBC)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ Law and Disorder. The first person convicted under Senegalโ€™s new anti-homosexuality law receives six years in jail and a substantial fine for his orientation. (Spiegel)
  • ๐ŸŒ No Contest. Romuald Wadagni, the ruling partyโ€™s pick, is elected president of Benin with 94% after a one-sided race and a quiet concession from Paul Hounkpรจ. (Le Temps)
๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง United Kingdom
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Entente Discordiale. Keir Starmer calls for closer European ties while embracing the very Brexit splits that keep his rivals energized. (BBC)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Known Wolf. Axel Rudakubana had a documented history of violent behavior flagged to agencies years before the Southport attack, but no effective intervention occurred. (The Guardian)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Fixer Upper. Anas Sarwar asks Scotland for five years to renovate the SNPโ€™s legacy, offering new homes and tax relief as the price of admission. (The Guardian)
๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ United States
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Code Red. Sam Altman’s California home was targeted in a Molotov cocktail attack, landing the suspect with attempted murder charges and sparking debate over AI backlash. (Wall Street Journal)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Unfriended. Eric Swalwell lost endorsements and now his seat in Congress after sexual assault allegations, bringing his political ambitions to an abrupt close. (New York Times)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ICE, ICE Maybe. Greg Abbott dangles $110M in Houston police funding if the city does not reverse its new limits on ICE cooperation, proving some offers are anything but cool. (New York Times)

๐Ÿ›๏ธ Economy

  • ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท Toll Recall. TotalEnergies CEO Patrick Pouyannรฉ says paying a fee for passage through the Strait of Hormuz is preferable to a full closure, as oil markets reel from the US-backed blockade. (Le Figaro)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช Pump Relief. Germany will cut taxes on diesel and gas for two months, dropping prices by โ‚ฌ0.17 per liter to offset wartime energy spikes. (Boursier)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡บ Steel Yourself. The agrees to double tariffs on imported steel to 50 percent, aiming to shield struggling European producers from cheap Chinese competition and global oversupply. (Le Monde)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡บ Frozen Assets. The tells Hungaryโ€™s new leader Pรฉter Magyar that โ‚ฌ35B in blocked funds will stay on ice until Orbรกn-era policies are reversed and rule of law reforms begin. (Financial Times)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Paper Trail. Kevin Warsh submitted his financial disclosures for the Fed chair nomination, moving him closer to a Senate hearing, though approval faces political obstacles. (Cnbc)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Waiver Goodbye. The Trump administration let its sanctions exemption for Russian oil expire, cutting off a loophole that had boosted Moscowโ€™s coffers and kept prices from soaring even higher. (New York Times)
  • ๐ŸŒ Strait Outta Luck. The near-closure of the Strait of Hormuz slashed OPECโ€™s crude production by 7.89M barrels a day, with Iraq hit hardest and Saudi Arabia rerouting through the Red Sea. (Wall Street Journal)
๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง United Kingdom
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Wattโ€™s Up? UK households are being encouraged to use more electricity this summer, with incentives to absorb surplus renewable power and help balance the grid. (The Guardian)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Safe Harbour Sale. Chancellor Rachel Reeves urges Gulf-based expats to relocate to the UK, promising a review of tax rules that currently penalize internationally paid professionals. (Financial Times)

๐Ÿข Real Estate

  • ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น Check Out. Portugal has canceled 7,000 tourist rental licenses since December, with thousands more to follow, as cities crack down on short-term stays. (Le Figaro)
๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ United States
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Spring Broke. home sales dropped 3.6% in March to 3.98M annualized, a chilly start to the spring selling season as buyers stay sidelined. (Wall Street Journal)

๐Ÿ”— On-chain

  • ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡บ Safe Bet. Ledger ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท expands to Wall Street, aiming to secure a slice of the US crypto boom and claim tech giant status from Europe. (Le Figaro)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Oil and Coin. Stack BTCโ€™s board oversight falls to just one non-executive director, an oil tycoon, making Farage and Kwartengโ€™s crypto play even more curious. (Financial Times)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Plastic Chain. Mastercard launches its Crypto Partner Program, connecting over 100 industry leaders to bridge crypto innovation with everyday payments, including Binance, PayPal, and Kraken. (Boursier)

๐Ÿ’ฑ Listed Markets

  • ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท Tower of Babel. Lafarge and top brass are found guilty of financing ISIS and others in Syria, earning their ex-chief a six-year stay behind bars. (Le Monde)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท Insider’s Out. Three French financiers, nicknamed ยซย the Hairdresser,ย ยป ยซย the Cowboy,ย ยป and ยซย the Writer,ย ยป were sentenced to up to three years in prison and โ‚ฌ30M in fines for networked insider trading, a first in France. (Le Parisien)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Star Wars. Nearly 1,500 figures from the film industry, including Jane Fonda and Joaquin Phoenix, signed an open letter opposing the Paramount Skydance takeover of Warner Bros Discovery, warning it would shrink opportunities and competition in Hollywood. (Le Monde)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Port Authority. The move to blockade Iranian ports sent oil prices soaring, with Iran warning that no Gulf harbor is safe if its exports are choked. (Le Figaro)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Equal Opportunity Cost. IBM agreed to a $17M payment to end a DOJ lawsuit claiming its DEI hiring practices breached civil rights rules on government contracts. (TechCrunch)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Claw and Order. Microsoft is developing its own OpenClaw-style agent for 365 Copilot, promising better security for enterprises than the open source version ever managed. (TechCrunch)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Consulting Open. Hacker group CodeWall breached Bain & Co‘s Pyxis platform with login details found in public code, echoing last month’s McKinsey security slip. (Financial Times)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ Oil Change. Christopher Eppinger, fresh off a $250M win trading Russian crude, shifts his focus to Guyanaโ€™s rapidly expanding oil fortunes. (Financial Times)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ Panic Button. The Philippines has ordered Meta ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ to crack down on fake news that officials say could trigger economic chaos and public anxiety. (Wall Street Journal)

๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Big Deals (M&A)

  • Eurazeo ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท acquires a majority stake in Groupe Netco ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท, a leader in critical maintenance services for conveyor systems.
  • Airvance Group ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท to acquire the distribution activities of Saint-Gobain ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท in Sweden, Norway, and Denmark for โ‚ฌ415M.
  • Iberdrola ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ pauses a $1B minority stake sale in a solar energy portfolio due to valuation concerns.
  • TAP Air Portugal ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น sells its majority stake in Cateringpor ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น to Swiss company Gate Gourmet ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ.
  • EQT ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช, KKR ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, and Advent ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ show interest in acquiring PolyPeptide ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ, which is valued at $1.2B.
  • WE Soda ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง is among over a dozen suitors interested in acquiring Rio Tinto ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ’s US boron assets, valued at $2B.
  • Unite Group ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง hires Goldman Sachs ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ to accelerate asset sales to $540M this year.
  • Glencore ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ acquires a 45% stake in an aluminum plant in South Carolina.
  • Bregal Sagemount ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ invests in Redgate Software ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง, a leading platform for database DevOps and lifecycle management.
  • The Sterling Group ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ acquires Healthcare Linen Services Group ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ.
  • STG ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ acquires Carrier Logistics Inc. ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, a provider of transportation management software for LTL carriers.
  • STAPLE Investments ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ partners with Corporate Travel Services (CTS) ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ to support long-term growth.
  • OpenAI ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ acquires Hiro Finance ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, a personal finance startup founded in 2023.
  • Perella Weinberg Partners ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ acquires Gleacher Shacklock ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง in a cash-and-stock deal.
  • Palo Alto Networks ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ to acquire Liberty Bank ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ for an AI revamp.
  • Baker Hughes ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ sells its Waygate Technologies ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช unit to Hexagon ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช for around $1.45B.
  • Somnigroup ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ acquires Leggett & Platt ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ in an all-stock deal worth $2.5B.
  • Otis ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ acquires WeMaintain ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท for approximately โ‚ฌ300M, specializing in elevator installation and maintenance.
  • BlackRock ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ’s GIP, Brookfield ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ, EIG Partners ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, KKR ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, Stonepeak ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, and Macquarie ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ are considering offers for a stake in Kuwait Petroleum Corp. ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ’s pipeline network as part of a $7B lease deal.
  • Leonard Green & Partners ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ is close to acquiring Cumming Group ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ from New Mountain Capital at a $3B valuation, including debt.
  • Stripes ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ’s bagel chain PopUp Bagels ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ raises funds from Tiger Global ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ at a $300M valuation.
  • GFL Environmental ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ to acquire Secure Waste Infrastructure ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ for $4.62B enterprise value.
  • Cohere ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ and Aleph Alpha ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช are in talks to merge.
  • Hapvida Participacoes e Investimentos ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท is seeking to raise $400M from a sale of its southern Brazil operations.
  • Fosun International ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ is considering a $3.2B sale of its 20.45% stake in BCP ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น, Portugal’s largest listed bank.
  • Japan ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต approves $4B in additional subsidies for Rapidus Corp. ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต to enter the AI chipmaking sector.
  • International Holding Co. ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช acquires a majority stake in Caprice Holdings ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง for over $1.3B.
  • Egyptian Natural Gas Holding Company ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ acquires the entire output of the Aphrodite gas deposit from Newmed Energy ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ.
  • Botswana ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ is keen on acquiring a controlling stake in De Beers ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง from Anglo American ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง.

๐Ÿงณ Private Markets & VC

  • ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท For You, For Sale. After a report revealed pimps recruiting teenage girls on TikTok, Sarah El Haรฏry refers the platform to Arcom and the European Commission for action. (Le Monde)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง Suite Dreams. OpenAI signs for an 88,500 square foot London office, doubling its UK capacity while its Stargate project sits in limbo. (Cnbc)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Risky Business. life insurers are losing investor confidence as their exposure to private credit raises concerns about hidden risks and shaky capital positions. (Financial Times)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Bubble Trouble. OpenAI investors question whether its $852B valuation can hold up as Sam Altman pivots and Anthropic gains ground. (Financial Times)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Bedrock Bottom. OpenAI tells staff the Amazon alliance will boost its enterprise market share, while Microsoftโ€™s grip has kept OpenAI from reaching more customers. (Cnbc)

Fundraising

  • Slate Auto ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Transportation): $650M
  • Aria Networks ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Networking): $125M (Sutter Hill Ventures, Atreides Management, Valor Equity Partners, Eclipse Ventures)
  • Neomorph ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Biotechnology): $100M (Deerfield Management, Regeneron Ventures, Longwood Fund, Alexandria Venture Investments, Binney Street Capital)
  • Modus ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (AI): $85M (Lightspeed Venture Partners, Comma Capital, Garry Tan)
  • Endovascular Engineering ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Medical Technology): $80M (Gilde Healthcare, Norwest, Sante Ventures, 415 Capital, S3 Ventures, Panakes Partners, M&L Healthcare Investments)
  • MillTech ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Fintech): $60M
  • Elorian ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (AI): $55M (Striker Ventures, Menlo Ventures, Altimeter)
  • Elevate Renewables ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Energy): $50M
  • True Footage ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Real Estate): $40M
  • Critical Loop ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Energy): $26M (Conifer Infrastructure Partners, Hanover, Better Ventures, Climate Capital, Adapt Nation Capital, Cyrus Ventures)
  • Quartzy ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Life Sciences): $23M (Avenue Capital Group, BroadOak Capital Partners)
  • Mastra ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Software): $22M
  • Eastern Union ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Real Estate): $18.5M
  • Citra Space ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Space Technology): $15M (Washington Harbour Partners, Industrious Ventures, Reliable Properties, Scout VC, Squadra Ventures, Alumni Ventures, Flex Capital)
  • Kelluu ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ (Aerospace): โ‚ฌ15M (NATO Innovation Fund, Keen Venture Partners, Gungnir Capital, Tesi)
  • Citra Space Corp ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Space Technology): $15M (Washington Harbour Partners, Industrious Ventures, Reliable Properties, Scout VC, Squadra Ventures, Alumni Ventures, Flex Capital)
  • SimpleChain ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Blockchain): $15M
  • Round ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช (Fintech): $6M (Alstin Capital, BACKED VC, Love Ventures, Passion Capital)
  • Lupin & Holmes ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท (Cybersecurity): $5.9M (20VC, Seedcamp, Purple Fund, Kima Ventures)
  • Technique Solaire ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท (Renewable Energy): โ‚ฌ5M
  • Hairdex ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท (Healthcare): โ‚ฌ1M

Fund Watch

  • Ares Management ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ: $20B (4th flagship direct lending fund, currently raising)
  • 26North Partners LP ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ: $5.9B (inaugural private equity fund, surpassed $4B target)
  • Leeds Equity Partners ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ: $1.9B (Leeds VIII, private equity fund focused on Knowledge Industries)
  • Warburg Pincus ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ: $1.8B (European defense fund, early backing from Munich Re)
  • Dominus Capital ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ: $640M (Dominus IV, 4th private equity fund, oversubscribed)
  • Vista Equity Partners ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ: $250M (software distressed debt fund, currently raising)
  • France ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท: $180M (contribution au FEM, soutien environnemental)
  • Newfund ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท: โ‚ฌ60M (HEKA, first European fund for brain digital health)

๐Ÿ””IPO

  • Vercel ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Dev Tools): recently valued at $9.3B after a $300M Series F round, signaling IPO readiness amid rising AI-driven app creation.
  • HawkEye 360 ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Space): filed for an IPO with a recent valuation of $2B following a $173M Series E round.
  • Suja Life ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Beverages): filed for an IPO, details on the amount are pending.
  • Third Point ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ (Finance): has sold its entire stake in CoStar and will not pursue a proxy fight.
  • IOI Properties Group ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ (REIT): planning a $500M IPO in Malaysia to establish a REIT for its retail, hotel, and office assets.
  • Maxivision Eye Hospitals ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ (Healthcare): preparing for an India IPO backed by Quadria Capital.

๐Ÿงณ Debt

  • Akiem ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท: finalized a โ‚ฌ1.52B green refinancing in senior debt.
  • Rolls-Royce ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง: secured ยฃ599M from the UK government for small modular reactor development.
  • Barclays ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง: exploring refinancing options for Apollo-backed Shutterfly amid stalled private credit talks.

โŒ Failures

  • Gestamp Sofedit ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท: l’usine fermant en mai 2026 entraรฎnera la suppression de 59 emplois dans le cadre d’un plan de rรฉduction des coรปts.

๐ŸŽฏ For a Few More Minutesโ€ฆ

  • ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท Step by Step. A 14-step section of the original Eiffel Tower staircase is going up for auction in Paris, with bids expected to top $163K. The climb to own a piece of history is open to all, except maybe the French. (Le Parisien)
  • ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช Scroll and Convert. Social media platforms like TikTok and Telegram see a massive rise in jihadist content aimed at German minors, often disguised as lifestyle advice. (Die Zeit)
  • ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ Cache Me If You Can. During a walk in the Krkonoลกe mountains, two hikers discovered $330K in gold coins and jewels, securing themselves a museum-worthy payday. (Le Figaro)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Bricks and Entry. Three men were arrested in California after authorities found $1M worth of stolen Lego kits in two hijacked vans. Crime scenes are apparently getting more colorful. (Le Parisien)
  • ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Flag Rights. The federal government will allow the rainbow Pride flag to fly permanently at the Stonewall Monument after reversing the Trump-era ban, following a lawsuit by LGBTQ groups. (New York Times)

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