🧾 The Outrage Trade
You pay extra here, then cash out elsewhere.
From $2.78 a gallon in January to $4.52 in May, with diesel up half on the year. The Strait of Hormuz did its predictable work, and the political reflexes followed without delay. In Washington, senators dust off their grievance scripts; in Westminster, the Energy Profits Levy is wheeled out for another tour. Darren Woods at ExxonMobil announced the lowest quarterly profit in five years, a charming piece of accounting choreography involving $3.9B of derivative timing effects that will, conveniently, unwind in subsequent periods. The underlying number was $8.8B. Total shareholder return that quarter: 42%. The losses are reported, the gains are realised, and the press releases manage both with admirable composure.
The moral chorus is reliable. A senator from a coastal state demands a windfall tax. An editorial in the Guardian denounces the obscenity of Big Oil. A junior minister explains, with measured solemnity, that the public deserves better. The script proceeds untouched by a small inconvenience: roughly half the voters in the room own the offending companies already, through pension funds, 401(k) plans, index trackers, and the silent autopilot of dollar-cost averaging. The Vanguard Total Stock Market Index holds ExxonMobil. The Norwegian sovereign fund holds Shell. The profiteer being denounced is, statistically, the speaker’s own constituent, just badly informed about his own portfolio.
$2.4K in 2024 at the pump for the average American household. North of $3.2K this year, an involuntary tribute of $800 to $1.2K to the very operators being scolded from podiums. ExxonMobil pays $1.03 a share each quarter and has raised its dividend for forty-three consecutive years, a record longer than the careers of most of its critics. Around 250 shares cover the bill. The required capital, near $38K, is not modest, but it is roughly the price of the pickup truck quietly consuming the family budget at the pump. The hedge exists. It trades on a screen. It is legal in every jurisdiction that allows the complaint about it.
The trick collapses where the speeches never go. The lowest income quintile of American households spends 3.4% of its budget on fuel; the top quintile spends a far smaller share, and can hedge what little remains without breaking sweat. So the outraged interventions land in the right register and on the wrong subject. ExxonMobil’s $8.8B quarter is the surface offence. The deeper one is that the households squeezed hardest by the bill are precisely those locked out of the dividend cheque on the other side. That arithmetic, even with all the sarcasm in the world, is hard to find amusing.

🗞️ Top Story
- 🇬🇷 Drone Alone. Greek authorities are investigating a Ukrainian-made sea drone packed with 100 kg of explosives that washed up on Lefkada’s coast after its operator lost control. (El Pais)
- 🇪🇺 Mute Points. The public broadcasters of Spain, Ireland, and Slovenia are boycotting the Eurovision broadcast this year because Israel remains in the lineup. (Le Monde)
- 🇬🇧 Red Alert. Facing unrest after Labour’s defeat, Keir Starmer vows to « prove them wrong » in a speech aimed at halting a growing internal revolt. (Libé)
- 🇷🇺 Old Boys’ Club. Vladimir Putin floats ex-Chancellor Gerhard Schröder as a potential peace broker for Ukraine, hinting Zelensky must come to Moscow if he wants talks. (Die Zeit)
- 🇷🇺 Truce Clues. The Kremlin explores possible ways out of the Ukraine war after Trump helps broker a temporary calm, giving Putin space to claim relief. (Le Temps)
- 🇺🇸 Critical Condition. Donald Trump says the Iran ceasefire is “on life support” and threatens new strikes, while Tehran shrugs off the pressure and demands concessions. (Spiegel)
- 🇺🇸 Ballroom Blitz. Democrats slam a Republican plan to spend $1B in public funds on Trump’s dream White House ballroom, calling it a tone-deaf luxury as families face rising living costs. (Le Parisien)
- 🇳🇬 Lawless North. Armed gangs killed over 40 people in Zamfara and Katsina states, underlining Nigeria’s persistent struggle to restore order in its northern regions. (Le Monde)
- 🌍 Mission: Invisible. Paris and London announce a defensive maritime mission for Hormuz, but with Iran and America at odds, the actual launch date is anyone’s guess. (France Info)
- 🇬🇧 Speechless. Keir Starmer’s attempted reset fails to halt the Labour resignation drumbeat as even more MPs publicly urge him to step down. (The Guardian)
- 🇬🇧 Quarantina Turner. Twenty-two MV Hondius cruise ship passengers exposed to hantavirus are now isolating in Merseyside flats after their evacuation from Tenerife. (The Guardian)
- 🇬🇧 Second Opinion. UK regulator Ofcom reverses course and now probes GB News for broadcasting the Trump interview twice without challenging controversial statements. (The Guardian)
- 🇬🇧 Cold Comfort. The UK is bracing for a midweek Arctic blast, with temperatures set to plunge below the May average and spring warmth on pause. (BBC)
- 🇺🇸 Habeas Corpus Interruptus. The first capital trial at Guantánamo is delayed once more, with the Cole bombing case now on its eleventh start date and counting. (New York Times)
- 🇺🇸 Checkmate, Inc. Representative Mike Lawler faces accusations of steering $720K in political funds to his own former consulting firm, fueling Democratic attacks as watchdogs demand a federal investigation. (New York Times)
- 🇺🇸 Tank You, Next. Alabama’s plan to install septic tanks for Black Belt residents is halted as Trump officials call the Biden-backed funding “illegal DEI,” blocking relief for thousands. (New York Times)
🏛️ Economy
- 🇪🇺 Animal Crossing. Brussels is set to let the UK keep its ban on live animal exports as part of a new agricultural deal, handing Keir Starmer a rare negotiating win. (The Guardian)
- 🇪🇺 Block No More. With Hungary’s new government stepping aside, the finally sanctions Israeli settlers over attacks on Palestinians, ending months of political gridlock in Brussels. (New York Times)
- 🇬🇧 Red Lines, Blue Mood. Keir Starmer reaffirms Labour’s Brexit red lines despite pressure to rejoin the EU single market, offering friendship but not full return. (El Pais)
- 🇬🇧 Exit Regret. Sadiq Khan urges Labour to pledge a return to the EU, arguing that Brexit was a costly mistake the party should be bold enough to reverse. (Cnbc)
- 🇬🇧 Steel Yourself. UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer announces plans to nationalize British Steel, ending Chinese group Jingye’s ownership after failed negotiations and mounting political pressure. (Le Figaro)
- 🇺🇸 Power Trip. Elon Musk, Tim Cook, and 15 other CEOs will join Trump in Beijing, where trade tensions and tech rivalry are very much on the agenda. (BBC)
- 🇺🇸 Bar Watch. Trump says he wants to check Fort Knox’s $700B gold stash with his own eyes, just to make sure the vault is not running on empty. (Le Figaro)
- 🇺🇸 Fill-Up Promise. Trump proposes suspending the gas tax to ease pain at the pump, but talks with Iran stall over irreconcilable demands on both sides. (Bloomberg)
- 🇺🇸 Gag Reflex. The SEC plans to scrap its long-standing « gag rule » after years of complaints from Elon Musk and Mark Cuban about muzzling criticism of settlements. (Bloomberg)
- 🇮🇳 Rupee Rescue. Indian officials are debating urgent measures to shield the country’s foreign exchange reserves, signaling growing concern over currency stability. (Bloomberg)
- 🇵🇰 Gas Crossing. For the first time since the US and Israel-Iran conflict began, a Qatari LNG tanker has made it through the Strait of Hormuz to Pakistan, offering brief relief to a power-starved country. (Le Monde)
- 🇬🇧 Gilt Trip. UK 10-year bond yields hit 5% as Keir Starmer’s big speech does nothing to calm investor nerves about politics or inflation. (The Guardian)
- 🇺🇸 Care Bears. Healthcare and social-assistance jobs now drive California’s job growth, outpacing tech and Hollywood, even if most pay less than you’d hope. (Wall Street Journal)
- 🇺🇸 Index Card. The Conference Board’s labor gauge inched higher in April, giving the U.S. job market another reason to claim it’s still open for business. (Wall Street Journal)
- 🇺🇸 Pump Fiction. California drivers already face $6 gas, but with the last Middle Eastern oil shipment docked, prices are set to climb even higher. (Wall Street Journal)
- 🇺🇸 Return to Sender. A federal court says the IRS may owe millions of Americans refunds for pandemic-era tax penalties, but filers must actively claim their cash by July 2026. (Cnbc)
🏢 Real Estate
- 🇦🇪 Estate of Mind. Brookfield signals bullishness on Dubai real estate, insisting its insight into the region makes the market a smart play. (Bloomberg)
- 🇬🇧 Floating the Rules. Zack Polanski, Green Party leader, admits living on a houseboat without paying council tax and now promises to settle up. (BBC)
- 🇺🇸 Spring Missed. existing-home sales in April barely rose 0.2%, missing forecasts yet again and confirming the housing market’s persistent slump is not over. (Wall Street Journal)
- 🇺🇸 House Arrest. First-time home buyers like Lillian Rouse and Mark Debney are putting purchases on hold as rising costs and high mortgage rates make ownership feel out of reach. (New York Times)
🔗 On-chain
- 🇺🇸 Arcade Funding. Circle pulled in $222M from heavyweights like BlackRock and a16z for its Arc blockchain token presale, valuing the project at $3B and putting institutional finance in play. (Cnbc)
💱 Listed Markets
- 🇪🇺 Crude Awakening. Shell 🇬🇧, BP, and TotalEnergies 🇫🇷 made up to $4.75B from oil market chaos sparked by the Iran war, thanks to their trading desks’ appetite for volatility. (Financial Times)
- 🇺🇸 Power Couple. The new alliance between Ford and CATL 🇨🇳 in battery development is presented as a potential template for thawing US-China relations, even as leaders keep their distance. (Bloomberg)
- 🇺🇸 Kitty Litter. GameStop shares soared and crashed within hours after Roaring Kitty posted online, proving meme magic still has a short half-life. (Bloomberg)
- 🇺🇸 Witness Protection. Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella testified in the Musk v. Altman trial that Elon Musk never raised concerns about Microsoft’s $13B investment in OpenAI violating any agreements. The court drama now shifts to Sam Altman’s turn on the stand.
- 🇸🇦 Barrel Roll. Saudi Aramco warns that a closed Strait of Hormuz could drain 100M barrels of oil from the global market every week, pipeline detours or not. (Wall Street Journal)
- 🇬🇧 Data Risky. MPs warn that NHS England has given Palantir 🇺🇸 “unlimited access” to identifiable patient data, calling the decision dangerous and fueling privacy fears. (The Guardian)
🛎️ Big Deals (M&A)
- Eon 🇩🇪 acquires Ovo 🇬🇧, a UK household gas and electricity supplier, for approximately £550M to £600M.
- Armani 🇮🇹 plans to split a 15% stake among preferred buyers L’Oreal 🇫🇷, EssilorLuxottica 🇮🇹, and LVMH 🇫🇷.
- Prosus 🇳🇱 sells part of its stake in Delivery Hero 🇩🇪 for $395M.
- Intertek 🇬🇧 rejects a $12.1B takeover offer from EQT 🇸🇪 and plans to pursue a spinoff of its unit Intertek Energy & Infrastructure.
- Architect Capital 🇺🇸 acquires a 16% stake in OnlyFans 🇬🇧 at a $3.15B valuation.
- Apollo 🇺🇸 is in talks to sell its MidCap private credit BDC for $3B.
- Fortress Investment Group 🇺🇸 acquires a $125M stake in Rafi Law Services 🇺🇸, a personal injury law firm in Arizona.
- Dream Finders Homes 🇺🇸 bids to acquire Beazer Homes 🇺🇸 for $704M.
- Byron Allen 🇺🇸 to acquire a majority stake in BuzzFeed 🇺🇸 for $120M.
- Bruin Capital 🇺🇸 acquires a 15% stake in Matchroom Holdings 🇬🇧, valuing the sports empire at over £1B.
- Trian Fund Management 🇺🇸 seeks investor backing for a bid to take Wendy’s 🇺🇸 private, amid a significant decline in its share price.
- BMO Financial Group 🇨🇦 to sell its transportation and vendor-finance businesses to Stonepeak 🇺🇸 for $10.6B.
- Hillhouse Investment 🇨🇳 acquires Mercer 🇺🇸’s Private Client Services.
- Sony Music Group 🇯🇵 acquires Recognition Music Group 🇺🇸’s catalogue from Blackstone 🇺🇸 in an almost $4B deal for over 45,000 songs.
- Jardine Cycle & Carriage 🇸🇬 is considering selling its car dealership unit in Malaysia and Singapore for $250M-$350M.
- Dubai Ruler 🇦🇪 acquires additional stakes in Emaar 🇦🇪 for $6.5B.
🧳 Private Markets & VC
- 🇪🇺 Walter Watch. Walter Goodwin, a former VC and PhD, has Europe’s attention as rumors swirl about an Anthropic partnership and his next AI move. (Sifted)
- 🇪🇺 SPAC to the Future. Investors are pouring billions into European quantum firms through SPACs and giant funding rounds, betting big on a breakthrough that is still theoretical. (Sifted)
- 🇬🇧 Ad Libitum. TikTok 🇨🇳 is launching an ad-free subscription in the UK for £3.99 per month, letting users pay for the privilege of scrolling in peace. (TechCrunch)
- 🇺🇸 OpenSecrets. House Republicans launch an inquiry into Sam Altman’s business ties as OpenAI moves toward its IPO, adding fresh drama to the AI gold rush. (Wall Street Journal)
- 🇺🇸 Board of Confusion. Satya Nadella testified that OpenAI’s board never gave him a clear reason for ousting Sam Altman, calling the entire episode “amateur city.” (Financial Times)
- 🇺🇸 Proud Cloud. Satya Nadella told a California court he is « very proud » Microsoft took the OpenAI bet when « no one else was ready » to invest. (Le Monde)
- 🇺🇸 Carry On Regardless. Private equity firms are attacking new research suggesting carried interest tax breaks cost billions in lost revenue, defending their favorite loophole with familiar arguments. (New York Times)
- 🇺🇸 Suit Up. Hedge funds are snapping up stakes in litigation finance as asset values drop, turning distressed lawsuits into the latest alternative bet. (Bloomberg)
- 🇺🇸 Short Circuit. Andrew Left, famed short seller, will face a jury over accusations of market manipulation, proving even bears can be cornered in court. (Bloomberg)
- 🇺🇸 Loan Wolf. JPMorgan and its partners tightened the leash on FS KKR Capital, cutting credit by 14% while KKR scrambled to throw in $300M to steady the sinking ship. (Cnbc)
Fundraising
- DeepSeek 🇺🇸 (AI): $7B (Hillhouse, Tencent)
- Isomorphic Labs 🇺🇸 (Biotech): $2B
- Helsing 🇩🇪 (Defense Tech): $1.2B
- Nscale 🇳🇴 (AI Infrastructure): $790M (ABN AMRO, DNB, Eksfin, Nordea, SEB)
- Astranis 🇺🇸 (Telecommunications): $300M
- Digital Asset Holdings 🇺🇸 (Blockchain): $300M (a16z crypto)
- Cowboy Space Corporation 🇺🇸 (Aerospace): $275M
- Anagram Therapeutics 🇺🇸 (Biotech): $250M
- Blitzy 🇺🇸 (Fintech): $200M
- OpenText 🇨🇦 (Data Management): $150M
- Reserv 🇺🇸 (Fintech): $125M
- Bovicash 🇫🇷 (Agritech): €100M
- Tessera Labs 🇺🇸 (AI): $60M (a16z)
- Heaviside Industries 🇺🇸 (Defense): $28M (Interlagos, Menlo Ventures, Flume Ventures, Cantos, Anorak Ventures)
- Basata 🇺🇸 (Healthcare): $21M (Basis Set Ventures, Cowboy Ventures, PHX Ventures, Zenda Capital, Victoria Treyger)
- Ciridae 🇺🇸 (AI): $20M (Accel, Andreessen Horowitz, General Catalyst, Sunflower Capital, Backcountry Ventures)
- ReFiBuy 🇺🇸 (E-commerce): $13.6M
- Auguste & Ferdinand 🇫🇷 (Food & Beverage): €1.6M
- TwoWay 🇫🇷 (Fintech): €1.5M (welovefounders, Tenity, Plug and Play, SuperCapital, Unorthodox Partners)
Fund Watch
- University of Michigan 🇺🇸: $2B
- S3 Capital 🇺🇸: $1.3B (3rd fund, construction lending)
- Enhanced Games 🇺🇸: $1.2B (merged with A Paradise Acquisition Corp., alternative to Olympics)
- Eric Trump 🇺🇸: $1B (Dominari Holdings unit, investment vehicle targeting Trump-favored sectors)
- Corbin Capital 🇺🇸: $342M
- Greenland Energy Company 🇨🇦: $215M (merger with Pelican Acquisition, oil driller)
- Global Millennial Capital 🇺🇸: $100M
- Kalos Ventures 🇺🇸: $78.8M (inaugural fund, early-stage tech companies in workforce, care, education)
- TriSpan 🇺🇸: Not disclosed (single-asset continuation vehicle for Maman, café-bakery brand)
🔔IPO
- KNDS 🇫🇷🇩🇪 (Defense): revised its IPO valuation downwards to ~$23B while targeting $5.8B in Europe.
- Pluxee 🇫🇷 (Finance): has completed a €100M share buyback program, repurchasing 8.3M shares at an average price of €11.98 each.
- Innio 🇦🇹 (Power Equipment): backed by Advent and ADIA, has filed for an IPO.
- TCI 🇬🇧 (Finance): has sold its entire $8B stake in Microsoft.
- Airtel Africa 🇬🇧 (Telecom): delayed a London IPO for its mobile money business Airtel Money, aiming to raise $1.5B-$2B, now set for H2 due to the Iran war.
- Capita 🇬🇧 (Outsourcing): Oasis Management acquires a 15% stake in the £500M company.
- Sunshine Silver 🇺🇸 (Mining): filed for an IPO to raise funds for reopening its Idaho mine.
- Cerebras Systems 🇺🇸 (AI): increasing IPO price to raise $5B amid over 20x demand, targeting a valuation above $30B.
- Lime 🇺🇸 (Transportation): filed for an IPO targeting a $2B valuation.
- Inspire Brands 🇺🇸 (Restaurants): filed confidentially for a $2B IPO.
- Odyssey Therapeutics 🇺🇸 (Biotech): raised $280M in an upsized IPO focused on the immune system.
- Applied Aerospace & Defense 🇺🇸 (Aerospace): filed for an IPO but no amount has been disclosed yet.
- Safepoint Holdings 🇺🇸 (Insurance): filed for an IPO as a Florida insurance specialist.
- Redwood Materials 🇺🇸 (Energy): raised $425M in a Series E funding round, pushing its valuation to over $6B.
- Cerebras 🇺🇸 (Semiconductors): seeking $4.8B in an upsized IPO.
- Lincoln International 🇺🇸 (Finance): seeking to raise $421M in a IPO.
- Barrick Gold 🇨🇦 (Mining): pledging up to $3B in buybacks ahead of its IPO.
- Kunlunxin 🇨🇳 (Chips): planning a dual IPO in China and Hong Kong aiming for a $15B valuation.
- Go Inc. 🇯🇵 (Ride-hailing): seeking to raise $575M at a $1.3B valuation in its Japan IPO.
- KK Mart 🇲🇾 (Retail): planning an IPO that could value the company at approximately $750M.
- Vodafone 🇮🇳 (Telecoms): working on a proposal to bolster capital for its India-listed unit Vodafone Idea.
- Ninja 🇸🇦 (Delivery): selected banks for a $1B IPO in Saudi Arabia.
🧳 Debt
- LACROIX 🇫🇷: secured a €77.6M syndicated loan to refinance existing debt and finance investments.
- Grèce 🇬🇷: remboursera 6,9B€ de sa dette européenne le mois prochain.
- Broadcom 🇺🇸: negotiating a $35B financing package with Apollo and Blackstone for AI chip development.
- Yahoo 🇺🇸: raised $1.6B in a loan and bond sale to refinance debt from its $5B acquisition.
- Petroperu 🇵🇪: authorized a $2B new emergency loan.
- SoftBank 🇯🇵: downsized margin loan plans from $10B to $6B backed by its OpenAI stake.
- Goswami Infratech 🇮🇳: seeking to raise $3B, including ~$1B dollar bonds.
- Piramal Finance 🇮🇳: seeking to raise $1B FX loans.
- Pakistan 🇵🇰: looking to raise $260M in a debut panda bond sale.
❌ Failures
- Deutsche Pfandbriefbank 🇩🇪: the lender is seeking to sell a non-performing loan on The CalEdison building in Los Angeles.
- General Motors 🇺🇸: the company laid off hundreds of IT workers to hire new employees with stronger AI skills.
- General Motors 🇺🇸: the automaker is laying off 500 to 600 IT workers as part of cost-cutting measures.
🎯 For a Few More Minutes…
- 🇫🇷 Stable Genius. The French horse racing lab marks 50 years and $10.7M in annual funding, boasting 30,000 anti-doping tests and AI on the horizon to keep the odds honest. (Ouest-France)
- 🇳🇱 Family Portrait. A Nazi-looted painting from the Goudstikker collection has been found on the wall of SS general Hendrik Seyffardt’s descendants, after one ashamed heir hired a detective to reveal the truth. The family now faces public shame and demands for restitution. (Libé)
- 🇭🇺 Dancing Minister. Zsolt Hegedűs, Hungary’s incoming health minister, celebrated Péter Magyar’s swearing-in by dancing outside Parliament, stealing the spotlight yet again. (Spiegel)
- 🇺🇸 Cureiosity. A new study shows that a single infusion of engineered immune cells kept HIV undetectable in two patients for up to two years, hinting at a future where lifelong virus control might not require daily medication. (New York Times)
- 🇭🇰 Club Siu Mai. Lin Heung Lau, a legendary Hong Kong tea house, now hosts « dim sum raves » with DJs and cocktails to lure Gen Z partygoers back to the city’s night life. (Boursier)