🚀One Small Step for Brian

AI gets promoted, 700 humans get vacuumed

11 mai 2026

Sharing a surname with the first man on the moon does set certain expectations. Brian Armstrong, who runs Coinbase from a perch only marginally less airless than the Sea of Tranquility, has now produced his own giant leap: 700 engineers and designers shown the airlock Tuesday morning, 14% of headcount, vaporised in the holy name of artificial intelligence. Crypto bros have been chanting « to the moon » for a decade. Their patron saint of the order book has finally taken them at their word, although the return capsule appears to have been quietly deleted from the manifest.

The official rationale combines two great American art forms, the layoff memo and the productivity sermon. AI now lets engineers ship in days what used to take weeks, the founder marvels, with the wide-eyed wonder of a man discovering that fire is hot. Such enlightenment costs labor. Armstrong’s preferred org chart calls for managers acting as both « coaches and players », a dual mandate familiar to anyone who has tried to referee a match while scoring goals, supervising 15 reports each. Welcome to the lunar workplace, where oxygen is rationed and every astronaut covers two stations.

Bitcoin sits near $80K after sliding from $125K last October, and a platform whose revenue is welded to trading volume tends to feel that. The wider tally is louder still: roughly 82K tech jobs announced gone in Q1 alone, a 40% jump on last year, AI cited in some 63% of cases. Block torched 40% of its workforce in March, Oracle waved off 30,000, Meta has 8,000 marked for May. The four hyperscalers are throwing $725B at data centres this year, more than the entire global oil and gas industry spends on exploration. The math runs in one direction: payroll is the only line item flexible enough to bankroll the GPU shopping spree, and the engineers are the gravel under the rocket.

Buried under the moon dust sits a thinner question. If juniors are not hired because the model does the work juniors used to do, who debugs the model when the model is doing the debugging? Who becomes the senior of 2035? Armstrong concedes, almost in passing, that « real people » stand behind these decisions. The sentence is supposed to reassure. It does the opposite. A chief executive feels obliged to remind himself, and the world, that his employees are human. That single line, dropped into a memo about freedom and finance, says rather more about the new economy than any earnings call ever will.

🚀One Small Step for Brian

🗞️ Top Story

🇫🇷 Strait Talk. France and the UK will co-chair a meeting with defense ministers on securing the Strait of Hormuz, as Iran warns against Western deployments. (Le Figaro)
🇪🇸 Viral Voyage. Passengers from the hantavirus-stricken cruise ship are set to disembark in Tenerife before being evacuated to their home countries, bringing a not-so-relaxing end to their trip. (New York Times)
🇦🇹 Song Contest. Vienna launches Eurovision festivities under heavy security and calls for a boycott over Israel’s participation, as some broadcasters and artists withdraw in protest. (France Info)
🇵🇱 Asylum Shuffle. Ex-Justice Minister Zbigniew Ziobro, under investigation for abuse of power in Poland, flees Hungary for the US after his political asylum collapses. (Spiegel)
🇩🇰 Left Out. Despite winning the most votes, Mette Frederiksen could not unite Denmark’s left, so the king handed coalition talks to Liberal Party leader Troels Lund Poulsen. (New York Times)
🇭🇺 Not My Kingdom. Péter Magyar insists he will serve Hungary, not dominate it, following Tisza’s sweeping victory over Orbán’s 16-year reign. (BBC)
🇬🇧 Full House. Labour faces steep losses and Reform UK gains ground as local election results reveal England’s shift to a five-party political landscape. (The Guardian)
🇬🇧 Déjà Brew. Gordon Brown is tapped by Keir Starmer for a new finance role, because nothing says fresh ideas like a 75-year-old ex-chancellor. (Financial Times)
🇷🇺 The End Game. Vladimir Putin claims the Ukraine conflict is nearing its conclusion and hints at talks, while blaming the West for supporting Zelensky. (BBC)
🇺🇸 Drawn Out. Democrats in Virginia lose a key referendum victory as the state’s top court cancels their new district map, wiping out hopes for four extra seats. (Le Temps)
🇺🇸 Sick Baywatch. Norovirus struck 102 passengers and 13 crew on Caribbean Princess, forcing containment measures and a promise of ship-wide disinfection before the next trip. (New York Times)
🇺🇸 Callin’ Bull. At a Las Vegas event, Kamala Harris bluntly called the Trump-Netanyahu war on Iran « bullshit, » winning cheers from the audience. (Spiegel)
🇧🇷 Son and Heir. Flávio Bolsonaro, son of the ex-president and now the Bolsonaro clan’s chosen candidate, is tasked with defeating Lula and reclaiming power for the right in Brazil. (El Pais)
🇨🇷 Yes, She Chaves. Laura Fernandez becomes Costa Rica’s new president, but her mentor Rodrigo Chaves holds a super-minister role and keeps his political shield firmly in place. (Le Monde)
🇹🇭 Thai Break. Thaksin Shinawatra, the former prime minister and kingmaker, walked free from Bangkok prison after his sentence was cut for good behavior. The old power broker is back in play. (New York Times)
🇮🇷 Strait Talk. Iran confirms it has replied to a US ceasefire proposal, with Pakistan mediating and Washington waiting for the next move. (BBC)
🇮🇷 Bail Out. Nobel laureate Narges Mohammadi, jailed for her human rights activism, was granted heavy bail and transferred to a Tehran hospital as her health worsens. (BBC)

🇬🇧 United Kingdom

🇬🇧 Farage Against the Machine. Reform UK claims its first council in east London, with Farage calling it a turning point for British politics and deflecting on that £5M crypto cash. (The Guardian)
🇬🇧 Exit Polls. With nearly 40 Labour MPs demanding his resignation, Keir Starmer scrambles to keep his job as leadership hopefuls eye the vacancy. (The Guardian)
🇬🇧 Hate Charge. Dylan Ossei, 34, faces multiple charges after allegedly assaulting and threatening three Jewish people in north London with antisemitic abuse. (BBC)
🇬🇧 Crony Island. Angela Rayner attacks Keir Starmer for “crony culture” and demands Andy Burnham’s Westminster comeback, as Labour’s leadership drama goes prime time. (Financial Times)

🇺🇸 United States

🇺🇸 Courtroom Live. A Utah judge will allow cameras to film the trial of Tyler Robinson, who is accused of killing conservative activist Charlie Kirk, despite defense objections about media influence. (Wall Street Journal)
🇺🇸 Flight Risk. A person scaled Denver airport’s perimeter fence and ran onto the runway, where Frontier Airlines Flight 4345 struck and killed them before takeoff. (Wall Street Journal)
🇺🇸 Two for the Show. Worried that two Republicans could lock Democrats out of the governor’s race, party strategists are moving to end California’s top-two primary system. (New York Times)

🏛️ Economy

🇩🇪 Factory Reset. German industrial output dropped in March, surprising analysts and casting fresh shadows over the manufacturing powerhouse’s rebound hopes. (Boursier)
🇪🇺 Rate Expectations. A Bloomberg survey finds that economists now predict the ECB will hike interest rates twice in 2026 after inflation projections rise. (Bloomberg)
🇪🇺 Rate Race. Trump gives the until July 4 to ratify a trade deal or face much higher US tariffs, turning tariff negotiations into a high-stakes deadline sprint. (Cnbc)
🇨🇭 Swiss Missed. Graubünden Cantonal Bank and BZ Bank face a lawsuit in the hundreds of millions for alleged investment mismanagement, which both deny entirely. (Swissinfo)
🇺🇸 Crude Awakening. The Justice Department and CFTC are investigating oil trades linked to the Iran conflict, with traders pocketing over $2.6B in the process. (Bloomberg)
🇺🇸 AI of the Storm. Silicon Valley leaders like Sam Altman and Alex Karp warn that unchecked AI could destroy jobs and concentrate wealth, possibly triggering social backlash. This time, even the billionaires look nervous. (Le Monde)
🇨🇳 Ice Cream You Out. Mixue, the Chinese snowman-themed chain, now boasts 49,000 stores worldwide, leapfrogging both McDonald’s 🇺🇸 and Starbucks in global outlets. Cheap tea, global takeover. (Le Figaro)
🇮🇳 Remote Control. Modi urges citizens to revive Covid-era work-from-home routines and virtual meetings to curb India’s rising fuel consumption. (Bloomberg)
🇮🇷 Fired Line. Iranian businesses are laying off staff in droves as war and internet shutdowns cripple the economy, leaving workers like Babak suddenly jobless. (New York Times)

🇬🇧 United Kingdom

🇬🇧 Gilt Trip. UK 30-year bond yields fell after local elections delivered pain but not disaster for Labour, as Keir Starmer refused to step down and markets breathed a cautious sigh of relief. (Financial Times)
🇬🇧 Royal Steal. The UK government is set to announce the full nationalisation of British Steel in the King’s speech, aiming to save 3,500 jobs and Britain’s last blast furnaces. (The Guardian)
🇺🇸 Turn the Page. Barnes & Noble, led by UK bookseller James Daunt, is slashing jobs and restructuring as part of a bid to reboot the chain for modern times. (Wall Street Journal)

🇺🇸 United States

🇺🇸 Middle Ground. While Miami and Austin chase millionaires, Wichita doubles down on the middle class, hoping accessible housing and steady jobs will fuel its future. (Wall Street Journal)
🇺🇸 Fired and Delivered. President Trump has approved a plan to dismiss FDA Commissioner Marty Makary after months of clashes over drug and health policies, making Makary the latest high-profile health official on the chopping block. (Wall Street Journal)
🇺🇸 Spirit of 1698. Family-run distillery Laird & Co. has been making apple brandy since before the existed and still uses the original recipe. (Wall Street Journal)
🇺🇸 Pump Fiction. Soaring diesel prices are hiking food transport costs, pushing grocery bills higher as cross-country celery now costs $11,000 a trip for one distributor. (Wall Street Journal)

🏢 Real Estate

🇪🇸 Holy Lease War. The Sindicato de Inquilinos accuses the Franciscan Order of ruthless rent hikes and forced evictions, sparking outrage after a pensioner is left homeless. (Spiegel)
🇨🇭 Peak Estate. Swiss luxury property prices climbed another 3% last year, with mountain retreats like St. Moritz reaching CHF52,000 per square meter and UBS predicting a plateau. (Swissinfo)
🇸🇬 Office Space Invaders. Singapore’s commercial real estate just posted a record quarter as investors rush in, driven by equal parts panic and profit motive. (Bloomberg)

🇺🇸 United States

🇺🇸 Tower Hour. New York plans to overhaul building codes based on a city-funded review of skyscraper emissions, so even the skyline gets a climate audit. (Wall Street Journal)

🔗 On-chain

🇪🇺 Coin Toss. ECB President Christine Lagarde voices doubts about euro-backed stablecoins, questioning if these digital tokens offer stability or just more volatility. (Boursier)
🇨🇭 Bit by Bit. Lugano extends its Plan B, doubling down on its ambition to become Europe’s crypto capital, despite the modest economic results so far. (Le Temps)
🇺🇸 Coin Toss. The Senate Banking Committee will vote May 14 on a landmark crypto bill that banks fiercely oppose, with both sides lobbying for last-minute changes. (Cnbc)
🇺🇸 Bear Market Revue. Crypto firms threw a lap-dance party in Miami even as digital asset prices slumped, proving the party never stops. Bear market or not. (Bloomberg)
🇺🇸 Truth Hurts. Trump Media & Technology Group posted a $406M loss in Q1, blaming crypto investments, while Truth Social revenue barely hit $900K. (Le Monde)
🇺🇸 Bet Regret. Most people trading on Polymarket lose money rather than win it, according to a new data analysis covering all users since 2022. (Washington Post)
🇨🇳 Humility Theater. CZ’s memoir “Freedom of Money” skips the scandals and sticks to self-congratulation, offering little about Binance except how misunderstood he feels. (Financial Times)

🇺🇸 United States

🇺🇸 Hedge and Seek. The SEC drags its feet on prediction markets ETFs, making the approval process feel like a game with no winners. Just like bitcoin all over again. (Cnbc)

💱 Listed Markets

🇪🇺 Jeep Leap. Stellantis 🇳🇱 will start building EVs for China’s Leapmotor 🇨🇳 in Spain, making it the first major Western automaker to open its European factories to a Chinese rival. (Wall Street Journal)
🇺🇸 Cloud Nine. Akamai’s stock soared 20% after announcing a $1.8B deal with a top AI client and posting solid quarterly earnings. Investors seem to agree: AI hype pays. (Cnbc)
🇺🇸 Severance of Power. Oracle laid off up to 30,000 employees by email, then refused to negotiate better severance, leaving many without accelerated stock or extra protections. (TechCrunch)
🇰🇪 Flow Control. CMA CGM 🇫🇷 strikes a deal with Kenya to develop logistics and ports, selling the dream of Nairobi as East Africa’s trade hub. (Le Figaro)

🛎️ Big Deals (M&A)

Engie 🇫🇷 finalizes the acquisition of UK Power Networks 🇬🇧.
Bel Group 🇫🇷 acquires Ingenuity Foods 🇺🇸.
Bayer 🇩🇪 acquires Perfuse Therapeutics 🇺🇸 for $2.45B.
Giorgio Armani 🇮🇹 plans to divest a 15% stake to L’Oréal 🇫🇷, LVMH 🇫🇷, and EssilorLuxottica 🇮🇹.
Angelini Pharma 🇮🇹 acquires Catalyst Pharmaceuticals 🇺🇸 for $4.1B cash at a 21% premium.
UniCredit 🇮🇹 is set to receive ~$3.7B from a UAE investor acquiring part of its Russian unit.
Venezia FC 🇮🇹 raises $120M in funding led by ex-Toronto Raptors CEO Tim Leiweke.
Nordic Infrastructure 🇸🇪 and Polhem Infra 🇸🇪 are exploring a $4.7B sale of renewable energy supplier Solor Bioenergi 🇸🇪.
Intertek 🇬🇧 rejects a $12.1B takeover offer from EQT 🇸🇪, citing undervaluation.
OnlyFans 🇬🇧 agrees to sell a 16% stake to Architect Capital 🇺🇸, valuing the company at $3.15B.
Grosvenor Group 🇬🇧 plans to sell its direct US real estate holdings valued at $1B.
Workspace 🇬🇧 is weighing a $170M sale of its most valuable asset Salisbury House 🇬🇧.
Capricorn Energy 🇬🇧 extends the deadline for Cafani 🇸🇦 to make a takeover offer.
Roche 🇨🇭 acquires PathAI 🇺🇸 for $750M plus potential milestone payments of up to $300M.
KFT Senator Treasury 🇷🇸 offers to acquire a 56.1% stake in NIS 🇷🇸 from Gazprom Neft 🇷🇺 and Gazprom 🇷🇺 for $2.4B.
Payward 🇺🇸 acquires Reap 🇸🇬.
Apollo Global Management 🇺🇸 in talks to sell MidCap Financial Investment Corp. 🇺🇸’s private credit fund valued at $3B.
The NBA 🇺🇸 will commit over $3B to its proposed new European basketball league following numerous $500M-$1B team bids from interested parties.
I Squared 🇺🇸 and Blackstone 🇺🇸 are considering a $2.9B bid for Stroeer 🇩🇪.
Nvidia 🇺🇸 will invest $2.1B in IREN 🇮🇹, a data center operator valued at $22B.
Americold Realty Trust 🇺🇸 forms a JV with EQT 🇸🇪, with an initial portfolio valued at $1.3B.
MarineMax 🇺🇸 is preparing to sell itself as Donerail 🇺🇸 raises its offer to over $1B.
CRF 🇺🇸 is re-evaluating its stake in TotalEnergies 🇫🇷 following its decision to accept $1B from the US to exit offshore wind power.
Kraken 🇺🇸 acquires Reap Technologies 🇸🇬 for $600M in cash and stock.
SpaceX 🇺🇸 plans to invest $120B in Terafab 🇺🇸 AI chip project.
Blue Owl 🇺🇸 is considering a $30B sale of its Asia operations from data center operator Stack Infrastructure 🇺🇸.
AMETEK 🇺🇸 acquires a portfolio of instrumentation businesses from Indicor 🇺🇸 for $5B cash.
Sony Music 🇺🇸 to acquire Recognition Music Group 🇺🇸 from Blackstone 🇺🇸 for $3.5B-$4B.
Western Midstream Partners 🇺🇸 acquires Brazos Delaware II 🇺🇸 in a $1.6B cash-and-stock deal.
Carlyle 🇺🇸 and Diversified Energy 🇺🇸 to acquire $1.2B worth of O&G fields in Oklahoma from Camino Natural Resources 🇺🇸.
TPG 🇺🇸’s co-founder daughter, Samantha Holloway, hires banks for a bid on a new Seattle NBA team.
Google DeepMind 🇺🇸 takes a minority stake in Eve Online 🇮🇸.
Brookfield 🇨🇦 sets up a new property joint venture with Alshaya Group 🇰🇼 in Dubai.
Brookfield 🇨🇦 and Oaktree 🇺🇸-backed music publisher Primary Wave Music 🇺🇸 acquires indie music publisher Kobalt 🇬🇧 from Francisco Partners 🇺🇸 for over $1.5B.
BGO 🇨🇦 acquires Cadillac Fairview 🇨🇦’s Toronto office property at 95 Wellington Street West for $175M.
CK Hutchison 🇭🇰 considers further telecom asset sale after exiting its VodafoneThree UK JV for $5.8B.
Atlas Arteria 🇦🇺 rejected a $5.3B takeover bid from its biggest shareholder IFM Investors 🇦🇺.

🧳 Private Markets & VC

🇫🇷 Bench Press. Faced with a French criminal inquiry into X 🇺🇸, Elon Musk skips his hearing and fires off taunts at magistrates to his 240M followers. (Le Monde)
🇪🇺 Interest of the Banks. BlackRock warns that Europe’s €14T in household cash deposits mostly benefits banks, with retail investors missing out on better market returns. (Financial Times)
🇪🇺 Arms Race Capital. European VCs are betting big on missile startups, pitching them as the future of defense as geopolitical anxieties fuel a new funding wave. (Sifted)
🇪🇺 Drone Alone. Helsing, the German AI defence start-up backed by Daniel Ek, is set to raise $1.2B at an $18B valuation, as investors stampede into European military tech. (Financial Times)
🇺🇸 Claims and Chains. Chirayu Rana’s lawsuit against JPMorgan ignites a media firestorm, as AI-generated fakes spread the story far beyond the courtroom. (Wall Street Journal)
🇺🇸 Profit Motive. The OpenAI trial peels back the curtain, showing Musk, Altman, and Brockman’s scramble for control and riches at the heart of the $852B startup. (Financial Times)
🇭🇰 Fire Sale City. Hong Kong’s bad-debt banks are urgently offloading assets and accelerating liquidations as soured loans pile up faster than they can sell. (Bloomberg)

Fundraising

Kalshi 🇺🇸 (Fintech): $1B
Ramp 🇺🇸 (Fintech): $750M (ICONIQ, GIC)
Astranis 🇺🇸 (Satellite): $455M (Snowpoint Ventures, Franklin Templeton)
Anagram Therapeutics 🇺🇸 (Biotech): $250M
ROBOTERA 🇨🇳 (Robotics): $200M (SF Group, HSG, IDG Capital, Hillhouse Investment, CICC Capital, Jingming Capital, SparkEdge Capital, Luxin Venture Capital Group, Unite Pioneers Capital, Longqi Investment, Tsinghua Holding Tiancheng Asset Management, Horizon Investment)
Quantum Motion 🇬🇧 (Quantum Computing): $160M (DCVC, Kembara)
Enter 🇧🇷 (Legal Tech): $100M (Founders Fund, Sequoia Capital, Ribbit Capital, Kaszek, Atlantico, ONEVC)
Skyroot Aerospace 🇮🇳 (Space Tech): $60M
Skeleton Technologies 🇪🇪 (Energy Storage): $39M (Axon Partners, SmartCap, Taiwania Capital)
XBOW 🇺🇸 (Cybersecurity): $35M (Accenture Ventures, DNX Ventures, NVentures)
Nova Intelligence 🇺🇸 (AI): $31.5M
Lunar Outpost 🇺🇸 (Space): $30M (Industrious Ventures, Type One Ventures, Eniac Ventures, Promus Ventures, Reliable Equity)
Subquadratic 🇺🇸 (AI): $29M (Javier Villamizar, Justin Mateen, others)
Ethos 🇬🇧 (AI): $22.75M (a16z)
Vori 🇺🇸 (Retail): $22M
Basata 🇺🇸 (Healthcare): $21M (Basis Set Ventures, Cowboy Ventures, PHX Ventures, Zenda Capital, Victoria Treyger)
Algorithmiq 🇮🇹 (Quantum): €18M
Squads 🇺🇸 (Fintech): $18M (Solana Ventures, Coinbase Ventures, Haun Ventures, L1D, Collab+Currency, Electric Capital, Placeholder, Jump Crypto, Robot Ventures)
Scout Space 🇺🇸 (Space): $18M
Fazeshift 🇺🇸 (Finance): $17M
OpenTrade 🇺🇸 (Finance): $17M (Mercury Fund, Notion Capital)
Pit 🇺🇸 (AI): $16M (Andreessen Horowitz, Lakestar)
MOTHER.tech 🇺🇸 (Creative): $15M (GV, Lerer Hippeau, Box Group, Shine Capital)
SageOx 🇺🇸 (AI): $15M
BitradeX 🇬🇧 (Cryptocurrency): $14M
Dandelion Health 🇺🇸 (Healthcare): $14M
Illoca 🇺🇸 (Design): $13M
Mother Ventures 🇺🇸 (Venture Capital): $10M
Antier Solutions 🇮🇳 (Blockchain): $3M

Fund Watch

Golub Capital 🇺🇸: $10B (private credit fund, capped withdrawals)
Primary Wave Music 🇺🇸: $2.2B (4th flagship music fund)
Deviation Capital 🇺🇸: $2B (early-stage VC, spun out from Two Sigma)
Apis Partners 🇪🇺: $1.23B (3rd fund, financial infrastructure and services)
Power Analytics Global 🇺🇸: $1B
Twin Bridge Capital Partners 🇺🇸: $855M (6th lower MM fund)
Baird Capital 🇺🇸: $450M (CV for Blue Matter Consulting, life sciences)
Crescent Cove Advisors 🇺🇸: $445M (4th growth fund)
Earlybird 🇪🇺: $423M (8th fund, European VC)
Africa50 Infrastructure Acceleration Fund 🇨🇩: $400M (PE fund, African Development Bank)
MidOcean Partners 🇺🇸: $300M (CV for auto parts supplier, Cloyes Gear and Products)
5th Century Partners 🇺🇸: $275M (2nd fund, lower MM PE firm)
Allianz Global Investors 🇩🇪: $270M
Ridgeline 🇺🇸: $180M (2nd VC fund)
Apposite Capital 🇬🇧: $135M (anchor commitment, healthcare investor)
Blue Owl 🇺🇸: $133M (tech private credit BDC, stake sale in SpaceX)
Wisdom Ventures 🇺🇸: $78M (fund for AI startups in health, wellness, and mindfulness)
Restive Ventures 🇺🇸: $45M (3rd fund, backing AI-native financial services)

🔔IPO

Rex Concepts 🇵🇱 (Restaurants): raised $125M in a Poland IPO as a franchisee of Burger King and Popeyes.
Intrum 🇸🇪 (Finance): plans to raise $812M of equity amid struggles with a heavy debt load.
Silex Microsystems 🇸🇪 (Microchips): surged 180% in its trading debut after raising $220M in a rare Sweden IPO.
Barnes & Noble / Waterstones 🇬🇧 (Retail): Elliott selected for a combined London IPO of book retailers.
Inspire Brands 🇺🇸 (Food): has confidentially filed for an IPO to use proceeds for debt repayment.
Lime 🇺🇸 (Mobility): preparing for an IPO on Wall Street with plans to raise $500M.
Cerebras Systems 🇺🇸 (Semiconductors): raising IPO price range to $150-$160 per share, aiming for $4.8B amid surging demand.
Suja Life 🇺🇸 (Beverages): debuted with a market cap of $700M after raising $187M in its IPO, but fell 14% on its first day.
Compass Gas e Energia 🇧🇷 (Energy): raised $650M in Brazil’s first IPO in five years.
Sany Heavy Industry 🇨🇳 (Manufacturing): considering a $500M Hong Kong IPO for its EV truck unit, Xingbida Network Technology.
Dangote Cement 🇳🇬 (Construction): planning a London listing aiming for a $13B valuation.

🧳 Debt

Eli Lilly 🇺🇸: sold $9B of investment-grade bonds to fund M&A.
Alaska Airlines 🇺🇸: launched a $500M debt offering as jet fuel prices surge.
JPMorgan 🇺🇸: will incur a $500M paper loss on $5.3B of debt backing Qualtrics’ acquisition of Press Ganey Forsta.
TD Bank Group 🇨🇦: secured $20B in financing for GameStop’s proposed $55B acquisition of eBay, contingent on an investment grade rating.
Midea 🇨🇳: raised $2.2B in an upsized convertible bond sale.
Sun Pharmaceutical Industries 🇮🇳: considering raising $3B-$4B offshore loans and euro-denominated bonds for its $12B Organon acquisition.
PIF 🇸🇦: raised $7B in its first dollar bond sale since the Iran war.
Ghana 🇬🇭: plans to sell $1B of domestic cocoa bonds.

❌ Failures

Symbio 🇫🇷: after burning through €350M in public aid over two years, the hydrogen startup announced a plan to lay off 70% of its workforce.
Porsche 🇩🇪: the luxury sports-car maker is closing three subsidiaries, resulting in the loss of around 500 jobs as part of its turnaround efforts.
Commerzbank 🇩🇪: the bank plans to cut up to 3,000 jobs while raising financial targets amid a takeover bid from UniCredit.
Wacker Chemie 🇩🇪: the company agreed to cut around 1,600 jobs by 2027 as part of a program aiming for €300M ($351.7M) in annual savings.
Novartis 🇩🇪: the Swiss drugmaker plans to close its production site in Wehr by 2028, cutting 220 jobs.
Greece 🇬🇷: won a London High Court ruling allowing it to buy back GDP-linked securities from its 2012 debt restructuring.
Truecaller 🇸🇪: the caller ID company cut 70 jobs as Q1 2026 net sales dropped by 27% to $39.34M, with ad revenues declining by 44%.
SWISS 🇨🇭: the airline plans to reduce administrative staff by around 10%, with voluntary departures and financial incentives for employees.
Parker 🇺🇸: the fintech startup filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy with assets and liabilities between $50M and $100M after raising over $200M in funding.
Blackstone 🇺🇸: the private credit lender will inject $100M into Medallia while converting $2.8B of debt to equity, wiping out Thoma Bravo’s $5B equity.
Knight-Swift Transportation 🇺🇸: the trucking giant sold $1.3B of convertible senior notes as part of a restructuring.

🎯 For a Few More Minutes…

🇩🇪 Backbeat. Filming begins in Germany for Hamburg Days, a drama about The Beatles’ wild pre-fame years, mop tops not yet mandatory. (BBC)
🇬🇧 Shelf Love. Sarah Maxwell opens Saucy Books, London’s first romance-only bookstore, promising a safe haven for young women and fans of happily-ever-afters. (Spiegel)
🇺🇸 Cloud Storage. The Department of War unveils a site packed with never-before-seen UFO files, hoping a fresh batch of unexplained videos will satisfy both Congress and the conspiracy crowd. (TechCrunch)
🇬🇱 Cash for Country. Clifford Stanley, 86, prowled Greenland’s capital promising $200K per signature for backing US statehood, reviving Trump-era annexation fantasies and attracting police attention. (Libé)